Vampire Joe McCarthy's Blog

So my coffin is getting all old and creaky and there's all these cobwebs, and it's just basically falling apart. So I decide to get a new one. There's this mortuary down in the valley and I go in there and I just kind of take a look at the coffins and the guy there shows me this one one coffin - deluxe coffin, velvet interior, real top-of-the-line (I ain't about to buy some cheap-o coffin that was probably made in some loser Commie country) - and it costs $2000. $2000! For a coffin! That's insane, I tell you what. So now I have to save up enough cash to put a down-payment on it, probably in the next week or so. Damned salesmen are trying to rob me blind, I swear.

I called up Ashcroft today. He said he was busy. He's always busy these days.

I finally bought a television set last night but all I can get right now is a couple of crummy local channels. I'll have to buy some cable soon. I wonder if I should get digital. I hear it has more channels.

My skin's getting real pale. I'm thinking about getting a tanning bed or something. Can I even do that? I mean it's not sunlight, right? I wish there was a book or something that answers that sort of thing. Oh well.

I went to the blood bank earlier tonight to apply for a loan. They turned me down. What a day, I tell you.

I'm a little depressed. None of my friends have called me in a month. It's getting lonely in this castle. Running low on blood.