Vampire Joe McCarthy's Blog

Today would have marked the 50th wedding anniversary of me and my wife Jean.



Look how young and robust I looked back then!

Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I accidently locked myself in the bathroom and it took me quite a while to get out.

Guess what I found today??? The first draft of that book I did back in the '50s, "America's Retreat From Victory"! Boy, this really brings back memories! There's a lot of grammer mistakes on this... I'm a terrible speller, I tell you. All these correction marks all over it, too. Heh, there's also a doodle of me in a cowboy hat I drew on page 13. I'm no Andy Warhol, that's for sure! Actually come to think of it he was probably some sorta Communist.

My library is a complete mess. god damn it, I'm going to organize my bookshelves even if it takes me all month.

I finally saved up enough to buy that new coffin and I brought it into the castle last night. It doesn't match the furniture at all. Oh well.

I went to the dentist. I had to pay through the nose, just for a check-up. Do you know how hard it is to find a 24-hour dentist specializing in fangs? Not easy, I tell you that.

I ordered a pizza earlier this evening. I told them not to put garlic on it. No matter how many times I tell them not to put garlic on it, they always do it anyday. God damn it

UPDATE: Never mind, I figured it out.

The newspaper says that the village is going to impose property taxes, which means I'm going to have to pay through the nose because of my castle. Freaking Communists, I swear. I wish they'd hold their town meetings at night instead of the afternoon.

P.S. Anyone know a six-letter word for "rudimental"?

Some guy from the village tried driving a wooden stake through my heart last night. Luckily I was able to ward him off. I wonder if I can buy heart insurance or something. I'll look it up on the Internet later I guess.

I lost the remote and now I have to search the entire place. That's what I get for living in a giant castle.